Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life — Marshall B. Rosenberg

It was a mosque in the Dheisheh Refugee Camp outside Bethlehem. Roughly 170 Palestinian Muslim men had gathered to hear Marshall Rosenberg present the principles of Nonviolent Communication. American attitudes were not popular there. As Rosenberg was speaking, his translator leaned in with a low warning: "They're whispering that you are American." A heartbeat later, a man stood up and shouted at the top of his lungs: "Murderer!" Others joined immediately: "Assassin! Child-killer! Murderer!"

On the way into the camp that morning, Rosenberg had passed spent tear gas canisters scattered on the pavement. Each one was stamped: *Made in U.S.A.*

He did not defend himself. He did not explain. He looked at the man who was shouting and asked one question: "Are you angry because you would like my government to use its resources differently?"

The man did not calm down immediately. He kept going: twenty-seven years in this camp with his children. Open sewage where his son played. A school with no books. Rosenberg did not argue back, did not apologize, did not explain American foreign policy. He kept reflecting what he heard beneath each statement: "So you're furious and would appreciate some support in improving your living conditions and gaining political independence?" Then: "I hear how painful it is for you to raise your children here. You want me to know that what you want is what all parents want for their children: a good education, a healthy place to grow up."

For twenty minutes the man kept talking, each reflection bringing him one level deeper. Then he stopped.