Ch. 1free to read
Have a New Kid by Friday
What It’s About
Your child doesn't change. You do. Leman shows that a child's behavior changes not from what you say, but from what you do next. You'll learn three concrete shifts: say it once and step away, understand why kids repeat what used to work, and let reality teach instead of your explanations. It's not about being harder on rules. It's about being consistent with them.
Read a Sample
Have a New Kid by Friday
Four-year-old Matthew came out of preschool in a foul mood. His mother buckled him into his car seat and pulled out of the lot, and a thin voice from the back seat said: "I hate you." His mother said nothing. She asked no questions, offered no defense and made no show of being hurt. She just kept driving.
At home Matthew dropped his backpack and made his usual afternoon request: cookies and milk. His mother calmly said, "No cookies and milk today." Then she turned her back and walked into the other room. Matthew followed her and asked why. She repeated the same sentence and walked away again. By the third time he was hanging on to her leg, insisting he didn't understand, because this had never happened to him before. Only then did she crouch down and tell him the real reason: she didn't like the way he'd spoken to her in the car.
Then he fell apart completely. There were tears, apologies and hugs. His mother accepted the apology, hugged him and genuinely made peace with him. Then Matthew asked one last question: so could he have the milk and cookies now? "Honey, I said no." And he didn't get them. Kevin Leman tells this story at the start of his book and then asks a single question. Do you think that little boy will think twice before he talks to his mother that way again?
Leman argues that a child's behavior is decided not inside the child but in the half second it takes the parent to respond. The book goes after three big questions. Why does a child repeat exactly what has worked for him so far? What do you put in place of shouting, threats and long explanations? And how much of this still holds up today, and how much is the outlook of a 2008 American book that today's parent would do better to leave on the page?
